


Does it Count When You're Drunk?

by Joy



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Drama, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:25:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joy/pseuds/Joy
Summary: Does it count when you're drunk?





	Does it Count When You're Drunk?

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a half-page snippet I wrote three years ago. I finally finished it while waiting for a scene to pop into my head for another fic.

 

.*.

 

Jack walked into Daniel’s office from the opposite door.  “What’cha doing?” he asked as Daniel typed away at his computer.

Daniel didn’t look up.  “Writing gay porn.”

Jack snorted.  “Bored?” he surmised, reaching the desk.

“You have no idea,” Daniel said, sitting back, and stretching.  He gave Jack a frown of curiosity.  “What’re you doing?”

“Getting ready to leave.  Join me for a drink?”

Daniel paused and frowned at him.  “Nope.  Not going to any bars.”

Jack gave him a puzzled look.  “What’s the matter with bars?”

Daniel turned his attention back to the computer.  “Witnesses and assholes.”

Jack crooked a grin.  “Those separate things or?”

Daniel snorted again.  “You really asking me out for a drink?”

“Yep.  C’mon.  I’m bored.  You’re bored.”

“And Hammond is?” Daniel asked.

“When the cat’s away…”

“Shame on you.  It’s out of character, isn’t it?”

“Are you asking me if I’m out of character for bending rules?”

“You have a point.”  Daniel shut down his computer.  The text file he had open was a diary entry that he’d entitled, _What if we did it?_   He got up and grabbed his fatigue shirt off the back of his chair.  “We’re not going to a bar.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“You’re not even fighting this?” Jack asked, frowning.

Daniel said, deadpan.  “You’re in charge.  I stopped asking why you do things a long time ago.”

With a huge grin, Jack followed Daniel out the door.

 

.*.

 

Jack went into his bedroom and forgot why he was there.  He stepped forward and tripped over his own feet and fell forward, his upper half on the bed.  “Ow.”  It hadn’t really hurt.  It just seemed like it should have.  He turned over, his ass hanging half off the bed and he scooted up.

“Jack?” Daniel asked, having heard the thump.

“I tripped!” Jack yelled.  That was too loud.

“Well what’d you do that for?” Daniel asked, walking in.  He sat down next to him.  “You’re drunk,” he guessed, grinning.

Jack nodded, grinning back.  “So’re you.”

“I am,” Daniel said, nodding.  “I’m waiting for the puking to start.”

Jack sat up.  “You puke?”

“No,” Daniel said.  “I have a strong constitushun.  I’m jus waiting for it to start.  Something’s gonna mess this up.”

“Mess what up?” Jack asked as he laid back down.  “Ah, this is better.”  He stared at the ceiling, then at Daniel.

“Mess this up,” Daniel said, and he laid down next to him, gesturing between them.  His arm went a little wild and he hit Jack’s shoulder.  “Oops.”

“I don’t get it,” Jack said, turning on his side and propping his head in his hand.

Daniel copied him.  “Mess this up,” Daniel said, gesturing again.  “If we stay here, even on this bed, drunk, something’s gonna happen.”

“Like what?” Jack asked, smiling.

Daniel groaned and closed his eyes.  “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Smile.”

Jack started laughing.  “What?”

“You’re … and that smile.”

Jack’s smile faded, but the remainder turned mischievous.  “You should talk with those blue eyes.”

“Eyes can’t talk,” Daniel frowned.

“Oh, I beg to differ,” Jack laughed.  “You look at people and they wither themselves.”

Daniel started laughing.  “What’s wither?”

“ _You know_ ,” Jack said, pushing a finger into his chest.  “You and that …”  He twirled a finger at him.

“You should talk, too, with that …”  Daniel waved an airy hand and it just kept moving forward.  He ended up running his fingers through Jack’s hair.  “That cute way it stands up.”

Jack took his hand.  “You and those fingers.”

“What?” Daniel laughed.

“These long fingers.  People stare, you know.”

“They do?” Daniel asked, staring at his fingers, now threaded with Jack’s.  “Yours are …”  He studied them, frowning.  Then pulled away and took off his glasses.  He stared at them and tossed them over his head.  They landed on the carpet.

Jack began laughing.  “What was that for?”

“They were smeared.  I couldn’t see.”

“Looked okay to me.”

“Now you’re smeared,” Daniel said, laughing.  “I need them back, I think,” and he turned over and crawled across the bed to get them.  His shoes caught on the comforter and he kicked them off.  “Damn things.”  He scooted further and tried to reach for them, but his fingers were inches away.  “Shit.”

“What?” Jack asked.  Kicking off shoes sounded good, so off they went.  He crawled up beside his drunk friend.

“I can’t reach,” Daniel pouted.

Jack pig-snorted, which made Daniel start giggling.

“You’re giggling,” he said.

“You pig-snorted,” Daniel said, still giggling.

“Did not,” Jack laughed.

“Did.”

“Did not!”

“Did!”  He peered at him.  “I think you’re drunk.  You don’t even know what you’re saying.”

“Do, too.”

“Jack.”

“Daniel.  You’re drunk, too,” Jack said.

“Yes, me three,” Daniel said, giggling harder.  “I mean, you too.”  He started laughing.  “I mean, me, too.”  He turned on his side and reached for Jack’s hair again, but Jack took his hand.

“Stop that.”

“You don’t want me touching your hair?” Daniel asked, raising brows.

Jack peered at them.  “You need to do something about those,” and he swirled another finger.

“About what?”

“Those caterpillars on your head.”

Daniel burst out laughing again.  “What?”

“Eyebrows.  Seriously, Daniel.”

“My eyebrows are fine,” Daniel said, giggling again.  “So why don’t you want me touching your hair?”

Jack threaded their fingers together again and jogged his own eyebrows.  “I’d rather you touched something else.”

Daniel’s brows climbed up high, and he pushed up on one hand, slipped, and pushed up again.  “Me, too.”

“Really?” Jack asked, sitting up.

“Yeah.”

They leaned in to kiss and bumped noses.  Daniel laughed while Jack frowned.  “Hold still,” Daniel said, then tilted his head and leaned in to kiss but Jack pushed him away until Daniel was on his back.

“What did you do that for?” Daniel asked.

“Because this isn’t the way it’s supposed to go,” Jack said, sitting beside him.

Daniel rose up on his elbows.  “How’s it supposed to go?”

“We’re supposed to be sober, for one.”

“Oh,” Daniel said, thinking about it.  “That’s too far away.”  He dropped to his back and kept his eyes on Jack’s.  “I want you now.”

Jack leaned over and positioned himself across Daniel, staring down into his face.  “You do?”

“Well, duh, Jack.  First, we kissed.  Then—”

“We kissed?” Jack asked.

“Well,” Daniel said, and thought, those brows wrinkling.  “Oh.  Right.  Okay.  So.  Start over.  We _kiss_.  Then …”  He licked his lips.  Jack’s brows went into his hairline.  “Oh yeah.  And you want to wait?”

“Well,” Jack asked, and he purposely rubbed his nose against Daniel’s.  “What if we lose them?  You know, ‘cause we’re drunk?”

“Lose what?”

“You know.”

“No,” Daniel frowned.

Jack reached over and palmed Daniel’s crotch.  “These,” he said.

“I can’t lose my balls.”

“No, dumbass!” Jack said, laughing.

“Oh,” Daniel said, frowning, getting it.  “Yeah, that’ll suck.”  He started laughing.  “No pun intended.”

“Or not suck,” Jack said, joining in.

“Fuck it,” Daniel said, “Let’s risk it.”  He pushed Jack onto his back and he meant to bring their lips together without hesitation but again, Jack stopped him.  He pushed him back.  “Now what?”  He sat back and frowned.  “Oh god.  This is my fault.  I’m sorry, Jack,” and he started to move, to get off the bed, but Jack stopped him by throwing an arm over his waist.

“Wait,” Jack said, and paused.  He stared at him for a long time.

“ _What?_ ” Daniel asked.

Jack launched up and tackled Daniel onto his back.  He brought their lips together and … they paused, mid-kiss, both mouths parted, and stared at each other.  Jack snuck his tongue out and ventured it between Daniel’s lips.  Daniel breathed into his mouth and met Jack’s tongue with his own.  The moment they touched, their eyes closed, and they kissed deeply for several minutes, breaking for air only by separating their lips a fraction of an inch.

“Oh wow,” Daniel said, panting, and he brought Jack’s hand to his crotch to feel the aching erection there.

“Oh wow,” Jack said, and he rubbed.  When Daniel moaned and squirmed, he kissed him again and took Daniel’s hand and placed it on his own erection.  Rubbing and kissing went on for a while until Jack lay fully on top and began dry humping.

Daniel pushed onto their sides and began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Yes, clothes,” Jack said, kissing lightly as he unbuttoned his own.

“Yep,” Daniel said.  It was awkward and uncoordinated until they separated and quickly got undressed.

Daniel was on his feet and he stared down at Jack.  “Wow.”  He swayed a little.  “Whoa.”

“Get down here,” Jack said, and pulled Daniel on top of him.  When their _bare_ groins met, the kissing resumed but with loud moans of appreciation.  When Daniel spread his legs, Jack broke off.  “Oh god.”

They stared at each other as Jack thrust against him, but Daniel was unable to keep his eyes open.  He closed them to more fully appreciate the way Jack rubbed into him.  He kept trying to up the tempo but Jack was content with the way it was.  Reaching between them, he took hold of Jack’s cock and twisted his hand as he stroked up and down.  “How’s that?”

“Keep going,” Jack said, and took Daniel’s cock in hand.  Their techniques were different, but they came to the same conclusion when they had each other panting and demanding more friction.

“Do you have any lube?” Daniel asked.

Jack stared at him, falling deep into those blue eyes.  “You want to?” he asked, his voice hitching as Daniel’s hand drove him crazy.

“Yes,” Daniel panted.  He ran his hand over the comforter and suddenly rolled onto his stomach and rubbed against the fabric.  It would do.  And with him lying that way, his legs quivered, and a deep need filled him.  “C’mon, Jack.  Fuck me.”

“Not like that,” Jack said, shaking his head.

Daniel turned on his side.  “Doggie style?”

“Exactly.  It’s impersonal, animal … animal is … ish …?”

“Animalistic?”

“That’s the one.  Unless we’re spooning, then that’s okay.  But I don’t want to spoon.”

Daniel fell back and spread one leg, one hand resting on his inner thigh.  “Let’s go.”

“Holy shit,” Jack said, and reached over him to open the night stand drawer.  He took out a condom and some lube.  He looked at Daniel’s feet hanging off the bed.  “Move up.”

Daniel did as he looked at what was in his hand.  “You have condoms?” he asked, and a surge of jealousy ran through him, then left.  He swallowed.  This was going to happen.  He took hold of his cock and began stroking.

“Damn, that’s hot,” Jack said.  He suddenly hesitated, staring at the condom.  “Should we?  I mean, Daniel.  We’re drunk.”

Daniel pushed him onto his back and kissed him deeply while he wrapped his fingers around his cock and stroked him with an expert hand.  It went on for minutes until Jack broke the kiss and growled, “You win.”

He got to his knees and grabbed the condom, but Daniel took it from him and tore it open, then unrolled it over Jack’s cock and then placed his lips around the head.

“Oh, holy fucking shit!” Jack said, gasping, as he watched Daniel suck him for a few long minutes.  “Jesus Christ.”

Daniel licked his lips and rubbed them together.  “I missed doing that.”  He turned around and laid on his back across the bed.  “C’mon.”  He raised his knees as well as his ass.

Jack grabbed the lube and squirted some on his fingers, then tentatively spread it over Daniel’s hole.  He elicited a deep moan and began massaging.  “I’ve missed doing this, too.  I mean.  Wow.”

“You don’t need to prep,” Daniel said, thrusting mid-air.

Jack swallowed.  “Okay.”  He moved to kneel between Daniel’s legs, then something in him chickened out a little and he lay down over him instead.  He rested his forearms on either side of Daniel’s head and Daniel wrapped his legs around his waist, locking his ankles.  “Are you sure about this?” Jack asked, even as his cock twitched and thickened as he rubbed over Daniel’s anus and balls.

Daniel lifted his chin.  “Damn straight.”

Jack only moved his hips, trying to line up without doing it manually but it just wouldn’t work.  “I don’t remember it being this hard.”  Daniel giggled and he smiled.  He reached between them, then pressed the head against his hole and pushed.  Daniel’s eyes half-closed and, encouraged, Jack pushed much harder.  Harder than he intended.  He was fully inside in one go.

“Oh god!” Daniel panted, eyes wide from the intense burn.

Jack froze; Daniel’s response scared him.  “Are you okay?” he said, and started to withdraw.

“No!” Daniel said, grabbing his ass with both hands.  “Don’t you dare.  It’ll get better.  I’m just not used to it.”  He forced himself to open up.

Jack complied, and thrust slowly a few times, but Daniel’s brows retained the knot of pain.  “It’s not—”

“Faster,” Daniel breathed, eyes closed.

Jack did, groaning himself because there was no goddamn way he was slowing down.  “Oh damn, that’s good.”  Daniel groaned again, and this time, it wasn’t out of pain.  “Okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Daniel replied.  He’d lost his erection, so he reached down to stroke.

“Damn, you’re not hard,” Jack said, but he kept going.

“I will be,” Daniel said, his eyes still closed.  He began to thicken and grow.  “That’s it,” he sighed.

“Yeah?” Jack asked, and he plunged deeper.  He groaned and did it again.

“Oh god, yes,” Daniel said, letting go of his cock and placing both arms over his head.  “So much, yes.”

Jack pushed up and knelt, hands on Daniel’s knees.  “Damn,” he panted, the sensation around his cock demanding more movement.  A lot more.  He began to thrust in earnest now and with the swimming in his head, it only intensified the feeling that rocked through him.  “You feel so fucking good.”

“Ah god,” Daniel grunted.  “So do you.”

Jack slid his arms under Daniel’s thighs and raised his ass off the bed.  Daniel’s eyes widened and he rested his hands at his sides and pushed up.  “Yes, Jack.”

Jack increased the strength of his stroke, slapping against Daniel’s ass.  It was hot.  Their skin was slick and hot.  The way Daniel moaned was hot.  The way he tightened around his cock was hotter.  He was so slick and warm and sexy.  He slid his arms up behind Daniel’s knees as he pitched forward.  His own weight took care of raising Daniel’s ass off the bed.  “That feel good?” he asked.

“Yes,” Daniel breathed.

“Here we go now,” he said, angling his hips.  “You’re gonna get your pros—”  Daniel’s eyes widened until the whites were showing and his mouth fell open.  “That’s what I’m talking about.”  He rode him shallow, aiming for that nub, enjoying the hell out of Daniel’s reaction.

“Oh god, oh god,” Daniel said, his voice rising in pitch.  “Jack!”

“You can’t be serious!” Jack said, and he thrust faster.

“OH!” he cried, eyes even wider.  “Oh damn!”

“That’s it,” Jack crooned, and he ground against him.

Daniel’s mouth fell open and he began panting harshly.  “Jack, oh shit,” he hissed, and suddenly he was coming.

“Oh yeah, come for me!” Jack exclaimed, thrusting hard and fast.  Daniel came twice more, crying out and gasping, his voice never ceasing.  Jack loved the way he made love, vocal and hot.  He loved every minute of it.  It seemed to take forever, but eventually, his balls tightened up.  “I’m coming,” he gasped.  Daniel grabbed him and kissed him hard as he jerked and spasmed, his thighs shaking.  “Goddamn, I love you,” he said.

Limp and exhausted, they fell together in a drunken afterglow with Jack moving just barely off to the side.  They fell asleep that way.

 

.*.

 

An hour later.

They were cold, and they tried to get under the covers and managed only halfway before they fell asleep again.

 

.*.

 

Two hours later.

The booze was wearing off, but the drunk was still on.  They managed to get under the covers this time.

 

.*.

 

Six hours later.

Early morning songbirds were singing when Daniel opened his eyes, his blurred gaze looking at dark brown wooden slats that stood for blinds.  He blinked, not understanding why they were brown.  Then his eyes widened, and he moved slightly.  Jack’s arm and leg were draped over him and his head was under his arm pit.  He looked down, then swallowed hard.  He remembered everything.  But then, he would.  He wasn’t an alcoholic who forgot what happened while drunk.

The full impact of the evening hit him.  He’d encouraged Jack.  This was his fault.  Or, was it a fault?  It depended on Jack, he guessed.  He sighed, and his ass hurt.  But it was a lovely hurt.  Still.  Making love drunk.  Did it count?  As declared feelings went, that is?  The kisses had been drunk kisses.  The touches had been drunk touches.  Everything would be different sober.

If Jack wanted it.

Jack.

_Jack._

_OH FUCKING HOLY SHIT.  HE’D FUCKED JACK O’NEILL._

He tried not to smile and failed.  He’d fantasized about this for years.  And now, it had happened.

But drunk.

He threw an arm over his eyes and groaned.

It didn’t count.

Daniel dozed off that way.

 

.*.

 

Twenty minutes later.

Jack heard birds singing and his body was sore.  He groaned and moved a bit.  What the hell was his head hit—

With wide eyes, he pushed up slightly.  Daniel.

Jesus fucking Christmas.  He’d fucked Daniel.  He dropped his head down, then realized his leg was draped over him.  Plus, his goddamn morning wood was against his hip and he had to piss like a racehorse.  Groaning louder, he pushed away and rolled out of bed, stumbling over his trousers, and made his way to the bathroom.  His mouth tasted like shit.  But despite the aches in his body … shit, he hadn’t done that in years … he felt good.

Still.  He’d done that drunk.

Flushing, he wondered where the condom was until he realized he’d managed to throw it in the trash.  Guess he wasn’t _that_ drunk.  Well.  Crap.  He paused by the bed, looking at Daniel with his arm thrown over his head.  He was breathing slow, steady.  Asleep.  Should he get back in bed?  They didn’t have to get up today.

But.  They’d fucked drunk.  Made love drunk.

Did it count?  The first time?

Oh god, they’d fucked for the first time _drunk_.

Jesus, that didn’t count.  It would have gone differently had they been sober, right?

Would it have?

Jack felt dread creep in to strangle his balls.  It _wouldn’t have happened_ had they been sober.  He’d have made sure of that because he was an uptight asshole.  He was so fixated on not messing things up that he’d … he wouldn’t have …

But.  He stared at Daniel and his body warmed.

He had.  They had.  They’d done the deed and so … it counted.  And there was no need to haggle over anything.  It was done.

And he could be free.

Jack’s muscles felt a little weak and he crawled back in bed, watching Daniel as he did.  He froze when the man he’d fucked drunk, and gladly, pulled his arm off his eyes and looked at him.

“You all right?” Daniel asked.

“I have morning breath.”

“I don’t care.”

“Then I’m all right,” Jack said, and kissed him.

 

~ end ~

 


End file.
